Does your life ‘fit’ your values?

Are your values something that you give much thought to? Are they even your values, maybe they belong to someone else whose passed them onto you?

Do you even know what your values are and do you check in with yourself to ensure your life is in alignment with your values?

This is a such a valuable topic to explore – if we are in a job, relationship or a pattern of living that doesn’t fit with our values we will feel ill at ease and as though something is missing from our lives.

So what are our values and how do we find out what matters to us?

The dictionary definition of value is : the importance or worth of something for someone or how useful or important something is.

The definition of values is : the beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life.

So often in life we are very clear about what we don’t want and often that’s where most of our focus goes; but what if you were to get clear about what you do want?

By looking at what our core values are it can become so much easier to gain clarity on where we want to be in life.

As an example; you may have been brought up with a strong work ethic, the beliefs of those around you were that you have to work hard for what you want, that it’s necessary to make sacrifices, that security is everything and we have to work hard to get ahead.

If this were the case the following might be the reality:

  • You’re in a job that pays you well.
  • It’s secure (or at least as secure as any job can be!) and you’ve worked so hard to get to the position you currently hold.
  • You work long hours (but that’s what’s expected in the business world).
  • You’ve sacrificed time with your family and friends in the pursuit of the career you’ve worked for.
  • Sometimes your work affects your sleep and wellbeing.
  • You feel you have to stay one step ahead to stay afloat.


How to find your core values:

Make a comprehensive list of every single value that resonates with you, you can go on and on making the list as long as you like.

Then take that list and whittle it down to the 10 most important values for you – this sounds difficult but it’s worth taking the time for. When you have your 10 values, place them in order of importance to you and give them a score from 0 – 10 as to how much of that value you have in your life. So 0 would be none of that particular value in your life and 10 would be that you are totally living that value.

There is no right or wrong with our values, it’s about what’s important for you and what makes your life work. We can endeavour to be this or that but if it doesn’t fit with our core values it’s always going to feel a bit off.

If we come up with a score below 10 for any of  our top 10 values we can use tapping to discharge our emotional response to how we’re feeling about each value and really gain clarity and focus about what’s important to us and how we might change things and live the life we have always wanted to live.

Our values change throughout our life and we can re visit the values exercise as part of our personal growth.

This is such an illuminating exercise and one that is so worth doing as when we know our values and are living in alignment with them life just somehow flows. Being clear makes it so much easier to be focussed on what we want in our life (this helps us when manifesting too).

For me, freedom and love featured highly – also playfulness turned out to be more important than I thought – this is something I’m not particularly good at and scored low in the amount playfulness features in my life so I need to work on this!!

So, what makes your heart sing and what fills you with dread?

If trying to ease your life into fitting with your values more is something you’d like to explore I’d be delighted to help you.

Over to you……

This is such a huge subject but so very interesting and I would love to know how you get on with your list. Did you find it easy or challenging? Please join in the conversation by leaving a comment below


Photo credit: @RunRockPrincess via / CC BY-ND
Photo credit: onyxkatze via / CC BY-NC-ND