You’ve been feeling as though life is passing you by. There’s this thing that you’d really like to do, this change that you’d really like to make but it’s just not happening for you! You’ve reached ‘stalemate’ – you don’t want to stay stuck where you are but you just don’t know how to move forwards. Can you relate?
So many things get in the way of us achieving what we dream of.
Not feeling good enough.
In my life I’ve found that for me to live the life I wanted, I had to let go of the baggage I was carrying (I am still a work in progress and always will be, that’s how we grow). Letting go of this stuff meant facing some difficult feelings and exploring my limiting beliefs.
There are many reasons why it’s so hard to follow our hearts and live the life we dream of – these may be some of our obstacles:
Programming: As we move through life we are encouraged to do many things; things that our care givers and peers see as the normal route in life. We’re told to get a proper job, to work hard, that life isn’t easy – you have to push and struggle. The truth is all of the above are beliefs that were probably also handed down to those who expressed them.
Beliefs: The programmes we ‘download’ lead to our beliefs. When we are exposed to the beliefs of others we absorb them as though they are true. For example we may be brought up to believe that life is supposed to be a struggle, that money doesn’t grow on trees, we have to work and toil for anything worth having. We may have absorbed the belief that if we follow our heart we are sure to find difficulty, lack, no security and so on. But these beliefs are just other peoples stuff, programming that has been passed down through time.
Expectations: Following your heart and building your dreams isn’t always the easiest option. It can be challenging to release the blocks that are holding us back.
Fear: No matter how much we may want to follow our heart and be who we really want to be it can be very scary. Not following the path that we are expected to follow and not conforming can bring up lots of feelings. Fear can be completely paralysing and keep us stuck where we are. When we look at the fear, when we get in touch with the feelings around our fear we can start ‘playing’ the story in our mind as to why we should be afraid – fear can make it hard to move forward.
“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom” – Anais Nin
Here are 5 tips to make it a bit easier:
1. Baby steps. As the saying goes , every journey begins with just one step! Don’t try to make lots of changes all at once it can be too overwhelming.
2. Don’t over analyse. Learn to trust your inner voice, listen to your heart, to your intuition. Sometimes we humans have a tendency to overthink things. Take time each day for yourself, maybe meditate, or walk in nature, listen to music; anything that gets you out of your head and into your heart. Time to just be helps us see things more clearly.
3. Be kind to yourself. Self acceptance is something many of us have to work on. We may have that feeling of not being good enough, of lacking in some way – but this is simply down to the experiences we’ve had and beliefs we’ve formed – both of which can be healed.
4. Feel the fear! I know this might sound counter productive, but by feeling our feelings and tapping through them we can release those fears.
5. Stop using words like should and ought! Language like this can keep us stuck in our old patterns. Ask yourself, ‘who says you should and you ought to?’ Don’t compare yourselves with others, we can often look at someone else and imagine they have it all, that their life seems so sorted. But this is often far from the truth. Be you, follow your heart. Relax into who you are, see the Golden Buddha within.
This life that we’re living wasn’t ever meant to be a struggle, it is such a beautiful gift, one that we can all unwrap and live with joy, love and fulfilment.
So be kind to yourself, learn to love yourself and enjoy growing into who you feel you are truly meant to be. If you feel you’d like some help with this, I’m always here to support you along the way.
I’d love to hear your thoughts – are there certain times of the year when change feels easier? Do you have a fear or a block that stands in your way?